Real production incident (2026-08-29): the crash guard #11556 introduced defaulted its logger to `log ?? console` — console is an object, not a function, so a burst of client aborts (ECONNRESET) reaching the process-level guard threw TypeError inside the uncaughtException handler itself and killed the server, twice in three minutes. Fix: default to console.warn.bind(console).
Bug-injection round trip confirms the new test fails on the old default and passes on the fix. Existing guard suite stays green: 9/9 (verified together with the new test).
